ghjkg

 fggghjuty

Reduce Stress and Be Happy

Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

So how should you do it then? The following are tips and advice to help manage stress.

Write it out, schedule it out.

It is best to write down everything that seems to be overwhelming. You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time.  It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present. 

Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You need not do everything all at once, and you need not do everything on your own. Ask for help, get help, or pay for help.  When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task. 

Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

Relax and be cool. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.

Learn to Solve Your Problems

How much percentage in a class of 30 students would agree to you that Mathematics is a great subject? You might answer “around 10 to 35%” and that is all. True, most kids today are not thrilled to solve Mathematical equations not because they do not know the processes involved, but because of the lack of interest in it.

In a similar way, our daily activities do not mean 100% joy and 0% problems. At times, we have more problems than joy. Fortunately, some individual are skilled in handling problems right. Want to know their secrets?

Well, carefree people, as some might call them, have one thing in common: optimism. These kinds of people do not mean they never had problems before. Try remembering a colleague, a relative, a friend, or someone from your community who has the brightest smile at the start until the end of the day. How many times did you see that person frown? Carefree people are fun to be with because their attitude is contagious. Have you tried asking them how they carry their problems lightly? Below are their secrets:

1.      Learn to control your feelings by separating negative feelings from positive thoughts. This is the first step in solving problems. Only after you have cleared your mind with unnecessary thoughts can you start solving your problems accordingly.

2.      Treat each problem as challenge and opportunity for self-improvement.

3.      Free that scapegoat attitude. Are you pointing your finger or blaming others for mishaps? Take responsibilities for your mistakes. No one is perfect, so never put the blames on others.

4.      Use a pen and paper, and rate the depth of the problem and possible answers to your problem. Probability law principle will allow you to evaluate how far you have thought of resolving your problems.

5.      Keep a journal and treat it as a “secret friend” who is always willing to listen to your grievances. Write your feelings freely.

6.      Develop a noteworthy hobby, for this will help you lessen or minimize stress in your life.

7.      Take time off from work and create variations of your daily schedule. Relax and check out the best movies in town. Travel and meet new wonderful people. You will find these activities worthwhile in the long run.

The above tips will help you optimize those positive feelings of yours. Say you are already consumed by some problems. Here are the 1-2-3 steps in doing your problem solving:

1.      Determine the root cause of the problem. If you think it is difficult, ask hundreds of why’s and what’s and you will soon find out the cause.

2.      Think, strategize, and act for resolution.

3.      Develop a strong desire to solve the problem.

4.      Review the situation for you to avoid repeating the same mistakes committed beforehand.

Consider that everybody experiences lowliness many times, but problems are problems. They are there not to annoy you; but problems are created when you cannot accept your limitations. Once you accept your limitations, problem solving is just a 1-2-3 step, hassle-free, and a life-sharpening experience indeed. Hence, never consume or lock yourself in your room when problem strikes. Think that problems are states of your being limited to something you need the most. But if you cannot have that important thing, accept it. Let go and you will free yourself with worries. Remember, less worries mean less problems. If you think that you really want some time out because of problems, consider that there is another room available for you called “improvement.”

What Innovation Can Do to Your Life

It's a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don't. The power of innovation. If you've ever marvelled at somebody's creative prowess, guess what, you can create and innovate too. It just takes time. Everyone is born creative. The box of crayons in kindergarten were not limited to those who possessed potential; because the truth is, everybody has potential.

You know how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? It's the same with innovation. It takes a  bit of practice and a lot of time before this mind function comes easily  when called. This article will teach you a few tips on how to bring innovation into your life.

Don't listen to what other people say. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don't waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won't. And the help you will probably get comes in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.

Spend time on it. I cannot stress that enough, although, please do not mistake this tip to tell you to quit your day job entirely. Do not. This involves some tricky time management but with a little discipline you'll be able to squeeze both in.

Exercise. Take a walk. Run a mile or two. Send all those endorphins coursing through your veins. Exercising certainly clears and relaxes your mind and allows for anything to pop up.

Record your dreams. Aren't some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you've had these dreams before, and I'm sure have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. So jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.

Find your own style. You can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. You'll know Hemingway wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.

Don't hide behind nifty gadgets or tools. You don't need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don't need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. So what if you've got an expensive SLR camera if you're a crappy photographer? Who cares if you've got a blinging laptop if you can't write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft: he knows what works and what doesn't.

Nothing will work without passion. What wakes you up in the mornings? What keeps the flame burning? What is the one thing that you'll die if you don't do? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Think the hare and the tortoise. Ellen Degeneres once said that if you're not doing something that you want to do, then you don't really want to do it. And that's true. Sometimes you just want something so bad you become a virtual unstoppable. And that is passion. Passion will keep you going.

Don't worry about inspiration. You can't force it; inspiration hits when you least expect it to, for those unpredictable yet inevitable moments you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas, you poor unfortunate soul; you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm's reach at all times.

I hope this article has helped you bring more innovation into your life. Keep in mind that you're doing these things for your own satisfaction and not anybody else's. But soon enough they will notice, and everything should snowball from there.

How To Use Affirmation Properly

“I am, therefore I exist,” is a phrase affirming one’s existence as a being. It may be a simple phrase, but it says everything about the being saying them. It indicates a confidence not commonly found among other beings.

But why do people need affirmation? Why do beings need to be affirmed? Is existence relative to one’s affirmation?

Affirmation is a very powerful technique to empower one’s subconscious. Once the subconscious is disciplined to believe one’s affirmation, the latter is converted into a positive action for the conscious mind. Through affirmation, beings are empowered to do, to work, and to strive for more things. Affirmation allows people to believe in themselves and to put their thoughts into action.

Affirmation is a combination of verbal and visual techniques of a preferred state of mind of a person. Strong affirmations can be very powerful, and can be used by almost anyone to achieve his goals and fulfill his desires. However, the power of an affirmation depends on how strong or weak an affirmation is. 

Affirmation is merely an assertion made by a person, about something or about a state of being. A person can affirm those that he chooses to attain, like “I now have a good life.” Being healthy in mind, body, and spirit can also be made possible through affirmation.

A strong affirmation should be stated in the present tense to be more effective. An affirmation of “I am now a happy being” is more effective than an affirmation saying, “I am going to become a happy being.” Affirmation should always be in positive terms because it is supposed to work for you and not against you. Instead of saying, “I am not sad,” why not make an affirmation saying, “I am happy.” 

An affirmation should be made up of simple but concise words, and it should be short to be more effective. A very long affirmation can work the other way around, instead of creating a positive mindset for a person. A short affirmation can be easily spoken and repeated by a person. It can serve as a mantra that can be repeated over and over again.

To be effective, an affirmation must be repeated. Repetition works and influences the subconscious, which in turn motivates the person into acting out his affirmation. A person who creates the affirmation should be deeply involved with the words he will be using, so he will be able to actualize his affirmation. Writing words that one believes in can be very powerful, and this can be put to good use when creating an affirmation.

However, creating an affirmation alone and repeating them a million times would not make the affirmation a state of mind. The important thing is to live one’s affirmation and to be open-minded enough to do the things that would help the affirmation become a reality. Feeling the affirmation and applying it in one’s life will help in making the affirmation a reality.

While affirmation is generally used to make an individual better, it can also be used to boost or confirm another person’s value. By affirming another person‘s existence, you are helping him improve his self-worth. 

Affirmation is a very simple thing that can make a very big difference in a person‘s life. It can be a great motivator and can make things happen. 

Energy Healing

Energy Healing 101: Pranic, Tantric, and Reiki


You have probably come across exotic-sounding terms such as “chakra”, “prana”, “aura”, and “tantra” in your course of reading books on spirituality, sex, and healing in the New Age literature section of the bookstore. But what’s the real scoop behind these exotic vocabularies?

Are All Energy Healings the Same?

Chakra or energy center is a term used in Pranic healing, an ancient Hindu system of energy healing. “Prana” means life energy. “Aura” is another terminology traced to Pranic healing. Aura is a non-physical body that consists of energy, which exists along with our physical body. The aura that covers our body is said to have seven layers pertaining to the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of an individual as manifested by energy. Studying the color and thickness of auras give ideas on the state of health of individuals. Six colors are associated with aura and interpreted into six personalities. These colors are all present in an individual but one or two are more pronounced.
Green – ambitious achiever
Blue – spiritual peacemaker
White – unconventional chameleon
Red – activist
Orange – creative communicator
Violet - psychic

Although Tantra is popularly associated with the peculiar practice of sex and spirituality, it is another method of energy healing. It comes from the word “tan” which means to spread or expand. The concept of connectedness is a recurring theme in Tantric writings on sex and spirituality. As a method of healing, spirituality and sex figure prominently. It is presupposed that the union of man and woman can reach spiritual levels during orgasm, which removes the body and mind off collected impurities. These impurities being negative energies can in turn manifest as physical illnesses.

Unlike Pranic and Tantric healings, which have Hindu origins, Reiki originated from Japan. It is relatively younger than Pranic and Tantric healings having been rediscovered in the early 1900’s. Reiki stands for universal energy, an energy brought forth by higher intelligence. Students of Reiki are taught how to tap this energy to heal physical, emotional, and mental illnesses.

Although Pranic, Tantra, and Reiki are all systems of energy healing, they differ in the type of energy tapped for healing: life energy, sexual energy, and universal energy respectively.

The concepts of the connectedness of mind, body, and spirit; the connection of individuals to all living and nonliving things around them and to the universe; and how energy impacts physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being are some of the salient similarities of these three healing methods.

Why Do People Turn to Energy Healing?

Pranic, Tantric, and Reiki are considered alternative methods of healing. In spite of the availability and relative accessibility of modern medicine, how come more and more people are being drawned to them? Here are some possible reasons:

· Energy healing worked where modern medicine failed.

For several reasons both explainable and unexplainable, modern medical treatment failed to heal ailments and conditions in several if not many persons. Research or data may not be able to support this statement. But for the families of the dying as well as for the dying patient, they would take the risk of using alternative methods ranging from herbals and organics, faith healers, witch doctors, and New Age healing techniques just to be get well.

· People perceive modern medicine to be isolating.

Medical treatments are oftentimes focused on the disease and its causative agent, which can make a patient feel isolated and treated like a mere host of the disease. Although recent developments in hospital practice are gradually promoting the holistic treatment of a patient, the perception still persists. Unlike in energy healing, since energy and spirituality are intimately linked, the patient feels that all aspects of his health are being attended to.

every-problem-has-a-solution-your-guide-to-creative-problem-solving

More than One Way to Skin a Cat: Adventures in Creative Thinking

How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads.  No options.  No solutions. 

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!

With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

Number one; maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

Number two; try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Number three; try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

Number four; although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.

Number five; it pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Number six; remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

Number seven; be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.

Here is one example.

Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

                                       Ted's Woodworking 16,000 Plans and Projects Package ..

Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

                                       Ted's Woodworking 16,000 Plans and Projects Package ..

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.

Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.

With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis

Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

2. Meditation

Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt,  you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

3. Think positive!

A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4.  Just let go.

What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.

5. Never expect.

After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.

6. Believe in your first impressions.

When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.

7. Stay happy!

See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.

Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.

Impossible is Just a Word

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

life Mapping: A Vision of Success

Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. Similar to a map, you need to define the following details: origin, destination, vehicle, backpack, landmarks, and route.

Origin:  Who you are

A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior highschool student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status. Moreover, you can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. Furthermore, she believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.

Destination: A vision of who you want to be

“Who do want to be?” this is your vision. Now it is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.

Vehicle: Your Mission

A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. Describing her vision-mission fully: it was to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.

Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude

Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.

Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. objectives

Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Thus you cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.

Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes

The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly.

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.

Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.

With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis

Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

2. Meditation

Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt,  you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

3. Think positive!

A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4.  Just let go.

What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.

5. Never expect.

After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.

6. Believe in your first impressions.

When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.

7. Stay happy!

See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.

Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.

Giving Your All

The act of giving your very best to the needy can likewise cultivate the best emotional satisfaction in your heart. Whatever form of help you extend, be it service or something of value, you will undoubtedly receive something better in return.

Is there anything better than a simple “thank you” that is meant with sincerity? Is there anything better than an appreciation that makes you feel needed and important? Is there anything better than to see smiles on other people’s faces for having made them feel equally important and cared for?

If your physical resources are limited, you can put your talent or creativity to work. Your urge to help those in need should inspire you to find ways in accumulating resources to actualize your intention. You can come up with ideas to generate more money through fund raising programs. You may also give more of your time doing volunteer service.

In the process of giving your all, your cooperation, attention, and entire being need not be strained. You may get physically exhausted; but emotionally, you will be charged with a heart full of compliments, making you feel all-important. You will feel revitalized and invigorated. You will become more enthusiastic. All these occur because you love what you’re doing.

When you set your mind to work for a good cause, you are actually tapping and activating power that promotes health in every corner of your physical, psychological, and emotional being. Your emotions will run high in a positive manner. You will feel sentimentally contented with what you are doing. You will feel as though you’re the highest paid executive in the business; not because you’re being paid with money, but because you’re being paid with your own sense of fulfillment.

Oh yes………….when you give your all, the best will bounce back to you.

Why Should You Set Goals?

Wonder why some people could not even achieve an inch of what they dream of becoming? Blame it on pure dreaming and lack of setting goals for achieving their dreams.

Setting goals is a very significant part of success and positive accomplishments. It is like scaling a 20 feet building and marking early on what feet you would like to reach at this specific period.

People who set goals literally create a map of their target achievements in life, marking where they should begin, where to pause, where to delve a bit, and where and when to stop. Once this map is created, it allows the map drawer to check where he is in the scheme of things and whether or not he is making some achievements that will take him closer to his goals.

By setting goals, people will know how they are doing and what they should be doing to achieve their targets or dreams in life. They will know if they can relax or if they have to double their efforts when they are falling short of what is expected of them.

Goal setting means a person is proactive in dealing with challenges that may affect his plans. Being proactive means one is able to outline possible difficulties that may occur as well as the solutions to these difficulties. By doing this, a person is not easily scared or defeated when challenges occur because he has already prepared for them. He knows they can happen and he has prepared a solution or strategy when that time comes.

Setting goals will enable people to track their progress in whatever endeavor they have set out to do. It will help people become more confident in themselves and more motivated to achieve their plans.

However, goal setting is not enough, as this should be accompanied by a positive outlook and self-discipline. A person may have a blueprint of where he wants to go, but if he does not have the necessary discipline to carry out the plan, then nothing will come out of it.

To be successful in goal setting, the goals that one has set for himself should be realistic and based on his capabilities, as well as selected and important external factors. Being too ambitious in setting up goals can make the goals unrealistic and difficult to achieve. However, do not also set goals that are too low because this might discourage one’s vision instead of achieving it.

It is also necessary that the person setting the blueprint for his direction should also include a time frame within which the goal will be achieved. This way, he is able to determine if he has to fast track his strategies or to slow down a bit. Goal setting will also help a person check if he is performing within his plans or if he is doing things towards the achievement of his plans.

Once you have achieved something, even a little of what you hoped to achieve, then you should always give yourself a pat in the back to keep you motivated. But do not be too complacent with any little achievement, as this may cause you to backslide.

Setting goals can be used in any aspect of one’s life - from one’s personal or family life, to his career and finances.  Goal setting can be as simple as setting a target weight when you wish to lose pounds or something big, like earning your first million.

When setting goals, it is always important to set standards that would suit your present situation, your capabilities, and other factors that may influence the achievement of your goal.

Ted's Woodworking 16,000 Plans and Projects Package ..

A Rested Mind Can Improve Your Productivity

Imagine that you’re working late at night on a project due in the morning. Your body is tired and your mind is numb, but this project must get done, so you push on. You continue to work, despite the distinct feeling that the project would be much easier if you went to bed and approached it again in the morning. You feel obligated to do it now, so you stay up until the wee hours of the morning, producing less than desirable work in much more time than it would have taken with a rested mind. This was likely not the wisest move, since not only productivity was lost, but quality as well.

Having a rested mind really can make a difference in our daily productivity, whether it's work or housework we are trying to accomplish. Our minds were not meant to work for hours on end with no downtime. They need breaks and vacations. They need the ability to recharge from the daily overload of sensory and thought perceptions. Constantly running our minds on overtime without frequent periods of restoration can be detrimental to our work, our attitude, and even our physical health.

Luckily, there are a few simple steps you can take to prevent your mind from working on overload. Follow these helpful tips and ideas for increasing your daily productivity:

Get more sleep – Adequate sleep is crucial to allowing our subconscious minds to let go of all the stress of the day. During sleep our minds recharge themselves, generating the stamina and renewed perception needed for a fresh new day. If we fail to get adequate sleep, our minds will be sluggish and slow, essentially shutting down from the overload of stimuli. This creates conditions in which we cannot effectively think, speak, or act to our fullest potential.

Without the level of awareness and alertness that a rested mind provides, our pace slows down and productivity is lost. When our minds are overworked we often fall into "space cadet" mode, and we have trouble focusing on the tasks at hand. Thoughts frequently wander, and the ability to concentrate is lost. Most people know how much sleep they require to feel refreshed, but we rarely allow ourselves such a luxury. Try viewing adequate sleep as an investment into your overall well-being, and reap the rewards the next morning.

Reduce stress – Excessive stress can be very debilitating. It makes us feel overwhelmed and distracts us from getting our work done, and even worse - it promotes the formation of negative thoughts. Stress can hinder our productivity by making us more scattered and unfocused. We are unable to concentrate on one thing at a time because the cause of the stress is always in the back our minds, demanding attention.

Reducing the stressors in our lives will go a long way in allowing us to lead more productive and happy lives. Try to remember that some things are just not worth worrying about, and there is no sense in stressing over things we have no control over. Since much of our stress is the result of worrying about things beyond our control, allowing ourselves to let go of these thoughts can greatly reduce the stress in our lives.

Quiet the mind – Meditation is a great way to quiet our minds and develop clear thought processes. Try this exercise at least once a day: Find a quiet room with no interruptions, sit in a comfortable position, and close your eyes. Allow all thoughts to leave your mind, and try to focus on the silence within you. As thoughts begin to float through your mind, simply push them gently but firmly back out. This technique takes practice to perfect, but sticking with it will help you to develop intense focus that can be harnessed in other ways as well.

Meditating on a regular basis will ultimately improve our productivity because we will develop the ability to focus clearly on each task, and ultimately get more done in less time.

These are just a few of the easy ways we can contribute to a rested mind, which will help us to release stress, improve our focus, and increase our productivity.


By Audun Alfsen

Being a Continuous Learner

When people ask me what business I’m in, I often say, “I’m in the learning business.”  It sounds intriguing, and it is certainly true.  But, truth be told, we are all in the learning business. Why?
Because as humans, we are learning machines.  We are most alive and functioning closest to our potential when we are learning, adapting, adjusting, and finding new ways, approaches and techniques to improve our lives (or the lives of others) in some way.
I believe in the above statements.  They are as true as any other statement I could write here.  But rather than talking about the philosophy of humankind, let me get much more pragmatic.

                                                     Change and Learning

Change is all around us.  Some say the rate of change is increasing, but whether that is true or not, this is definitely a fact in our business lives.  Products change, Customers change, process and policies change.  We are put on a new team, we are entering new markets, and we have set new goals.  In all parts of our daily professional lives change surrounds us.

In order for us to cope with that change, we need to be willing and able to change.  And learning is a key component in developing that ability.

So when I talk about continuous learning or life long learning, I’m not suggesting everyone needs to take a course at their local college, or go back to school for a new degree.  Continuous learning is an attitude and a set of behaviors that allow us to succeed in our ever-changing environment, and is the best lever we have to turn who we are today into who we want to be tomorrow.  Change requires learning and conversely, there is no learning without change.

So if life long learning doesn’t necessarily mean the “professional college student” and doesn’t require us to be the person who was always asking questions in every class we ever attended, what are the behaviors that make up a true continuous or life long learner?

I’m glad you asked.

The Behaviors

There are some common threads among those who actively are learning and growing as professionals (and humans).  Life-long, continuous learners:

Have a beginner’s mindset.If you approach anything with the mindset of an expert, you will learn nothing.  With the expert’s mind, you are looking for confirmation and validation of what you already know. A beginner on the other hand, looks constantly for one new tidbit, one or more ways to expand on their current expertise.  In other words, expert or not, they don’t think that way, because they know that only with a open, beginners mind, can they benefit from the learning opportunity.
Make connections. Peter Drucker, the famous and influential management thinker wrote, “To make knowledge productive we will have to learn to see both forest and tree. We will have to learn to connect.”  Continuous learners do that.  They continue to think about what they have learned in one part of their life and how it relates to and connects with challenges, problems, opportunities and situations that occur in other parts of their life.
Are flexible and adaptable.  Learning requires change, so continuous learners realize that they must be willing to adapt and change if they want to grow.
Are always learning something. Continuous learners learn new things “just because.”  They’ve always wanted to play guitar, so they take lessons.  They want to ride a unicycle, so they try it.  They learn how to quilt.  They learn a new language. These people don’t invest the time required just so they can play “Love Me Tender” or say “good morning” in Chinese.  They also do it because they realize that our brains are like muscles.  The more we exercise them the stronger they will be.
Are continuously curious. One of the most powerful learning questions we use is “Why?”  Why is the question of the curious.  Continuous learners remain curious about people, places, important and mundane things as well.  By cultivating their curiosity they are adding to their knowledge and perspective, while exercising an important part of our learning brain at the same time.
Learn in multiple ways. In school we learned in a relatively limited number of ways, which unfortunately leaves some people with a limited view of learning.  Continuous learns know that they can learn by reading, by listening, by trying, through others, with a mentor, etc. (etc.!)
Teach others. Something magical happens when you teach someone something – you suddenly understand it better yourself.  Continuous learners teach others not just to help the other person (or to show them how much they know) but because they know it helps them deepen their mastery of their own learning.

                                               How to Use This List

Now that you have read this far I hope you are convinced of how valuable it can be to be a more active learner.  You have also read a list of characteristics.  Now that you have read that list of characteristics, I’d like you to read it again.  As you read it ask yourself these questions:

· How well do I stack up against these behaviors?

· Which ones would I like to get better at?

· Who do I know that is exceptionally good at each of these characteristics?

· How can I learn these traits and habits from those I know who are better at them than I?

Your answers to these four questions (and the action that you take) will put you on the road to being a more continuous and life-long learner.

Enjoy your journey.   

Audun Alfsen

Attitude Is A Really Big Thing

Regardless of your age, your place in life, your occupation, or the ways you choose to spend time, I can guarentee that your attitude is one of the most significant things that determines your happiness and contentment in life.

Attitude is so powerful because it is one of the few things that every single person has the ability to be in control of regardless of any other factors in life. When life is going well and we have no complaints we can choose what kind of attitude to face each day with. Fortunately, when our lives seem like they couldn't get any worse we can also choose what kind of attitude we will have each day.

Can you think about a time in your life when your attitude made all the difference? Or, maybe think of an example from the life of someone you know. Can you think of a situation when all things looked grim and yet you or someone else's attitude made that situation better just by being positive?

You may be wondering why it is important to keep a good attitude regardless of other factors in your life. Good question. One thing I've learned about life is that it will not always go my way. It is highly unlikely that every single day for the rest of my life will be filled with joy, friendships, and peace. It is possible, but unlikely. It is much more likely that life will throw me things I wasn't expecting. Tragedies, sicknesses, and relationship trials will come my way and it will be my attitude that determines how those events affect me.

Keeping a good attitude in life allows us to remember that even in tough times we have much to be thankful for. Choose to let your attitude reflect this perspective rather than reflecting the fact that you are not getting exactly what you want at a moment in time. Let your attitude reflect all of the ways that your life has been blessed and all of the good things that have happened to you.

We have all heard it said that "attitude is a little thing that can make a big difference." I agree with whoever said those words wholeheartedly, but I'll even take it a step further and simply say that attitude is a big thing. Attitude is perhaps one of the biggest factors that determines the path and results we see in life. When we can look at the worst situations with hope and a right perspective, nothing will be too difficult to bear.


By Audun Alfsen

Self improvement and success go hand in hand

How do you know if a person is willing to attain self improvement? This is a question with no definite answer. It will all depend on the individual.

Many people have goals, dreams or ambitions but do not know how to go about achieving them. They may have thought about what would make up self improvement and their ideal life, but have no idea how to even begin to make the plans and take the actions required to make them a reality.

Some people have a vague idea on how to go about self improvement. These are the ones that believe that if only they had a better job, or had been given better opportunities, or met the love of their life, or whatever else, everything would be fine and they would be happy.

They feel that their happiness or lack of happiness is decided by external factors and their thoughts and actions are of little consequence.

Some believe that if only they had more money they could have whatever they want and be on their way to self improvement.

They may have spent little time thinking about what they actually want from life, and do not really believe there is anything they can do to create their fuzzy version of utopia anyway, apart from buying more lottery tickets.

Other people do not even know what they actually want from their lives and may even have little idea what would really makes them happy. They seem to just drift from day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year, and do little more than just about get by.

They may have seemingly secure jobs and be earning enough to live relatively comfortable lives. They seem happy enough and have no great ambition to achieve anything more from their lives than they currently have.

Is self improvement important?

The reality is that throughout our lives we are all constantly growing and developing. Circumstances make us grow and develop, even if we do not make the conscious decision to do so.

Up to a certain age, we learn through formal education and we continue to learn through our experiences for the rest of our lives. We have to learn and grow to deal with everything that life throws at us. We all have to go through self improvement.

Modern life moves at a dramatically faster pace than at anytime in history. For anyone living in modern society there are more opportunities to do anything that you want to do with your life than ever before.

But there is also more competition than ever before, and ever changing technology means that there really are few, if any ‘jobs for life’ anymore. It is now normal not only to change jobs quite often throughout our working lives, but even to completely change careers and industries.

Because the workplace is so competitive, people who are ambitious and hungry for success know they need to learn new skills and knowledge to keep ahead of the pack. To attain this, self improvement is needed.

These are the people that will be most likely to keep their jobs, or progress within their chosen field, or that will be readily employable in different organizations or industries.

A commitment to self improvement and personal growth may well be the deciding factor in how anyone’s future will turn out.

By Audun Alfsen

Elephant break the sprinkler and play

                                                         This made my DAY 

How Is Your Self-Esteem?

The development of a positive self-concept, or healthy self-esteem, plays a major role in life success and happiness.

Self-esteem is quite simply how we feel about ourselves and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. The way we talk about ourselves is very important in everything we do. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave.

A strong positive self-concept allows individuals to open themselves to new opportunities and challenges both personally and professionally. People who lack self-esteem are less willing to move from their safety zone and so miss opportunities in life, love, and success.

We can often place the blame for low self-esteem on people in our past such as our parents, teachers, or other important people. However once we reach adulthood, we need to take responsibility for our own self-concept.

In many ways self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those with a positive self-image will constantly reinforce that image with new successes while those with a negative self-image will find new failures to reinforce that image. If your self-esteem needs bolstering then you must find ways to bolster it.

One way to boost your self-concept is through self-talk. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is behind depression and anxiety. It is important to emphasize to ourselves both positive self-statements and mental pictures. Do this several times every day until it becomes a habit and you do not need to force yourself to imagine a positive self-concept but instead allow it to become a reality.

A second important step is to decide what you can and cannot control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. You can control your eating and exercise habits but you cannot change your body type. You can control your personal hygiene and appearance but you cannot control whether others find you attractive. You can control how you feel about yourself but you cannot control how others feel about you.

Third, set up a competition you can win. This means only compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else. Constantly setting meaningful, achievable goals for yourself allows you to keep improving yourself and can also build your self-esteem by reinforcing your achievements.

Fourth, become a positive person. When you ponder a decision or change in your life then think of everything that could go right. Emphasize the positives even when something unexpected occurs. Recognize that mistakes are opportunities to try again. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies but rather problems you now have the opportunity to solve. Success is often the tail of a string of failed attempts to get it right.

Finally, accept responsibility for yourself. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Release the blame for your past and do not dwell on the others who may have contributed to your low self-esteem. That was yesterday. You and you alone are responsible for the person you will be today and tomorrow.

Building your self-esteem is crucial to your success and happiness. If you follow these five steps then you should be able to give your self-esteem a boost.


By Audun Alfsen

Addiction to Self-Judgment

“I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?”
“I’m a looser. I’ll never get anywhere.”
“I’m so stupid. I should have learned this by now.”
“I don’t fit in. I don’t belong with these people.”
“I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right enough.”
“I’m permanently emotionally damaged. I’ll never be okay.”
“No one could love me. I’m not lovable.”

…and so on and so on.

Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong, or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?

In my counseling work with people, I find that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments. Most of the time, when I ask an anxious client why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it’s because of something that happened to them. They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, “I’ll never get this right,” or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, “Margaret doesn’t like me,” or “Margaret is getting impatient with me.” When they judge themselves or make up that I’m judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.

Pointing out to them that they are causing their anxiety with their self-judgment doesn’t not necessarily stop the judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behavior that is intended to protect against pain. What is the pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?

Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.”

However, just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do we as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves. More self-judgment follows the lack of action, which results in more anxiety and immobilization, until we create a situation where we are completely stuck and miserable.

The way out of this is to become aware of the feelings of fear, anxiety, anger or depression and then ask yourself, “What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?” Once you become aware of the self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?” If you are not 100% certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your higher, wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, “What is the truth?” If you are really open to learning about the truth, the truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.

For example, “I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?” becomes “We all mess up at times. It’s okay to make mistakes - it’s part of being human. Making a mistake does not mean that you are a jerk.” When we open to the truth, we will discover a kind and compassionate way of speaking to ourselves, a way that makes us feel loved and safe rather than anxious, angry or depressed.

Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don’t judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but the end result is so worth the effort!


By Audun Alfsen

100% Attitude

Your attitude will determine a lot, we’ve all heard the glass half full or glass half empty way off looking at things, both are the same thing, but are vastly different as well.  You have the ability to transform your life and reach new heights of success and fulfilment. Whether at this moment in time your attitude is positive, negative or somewhere in the middle you can take control of your life and set yourself free!  Everyone has potential, the unfortunate thing is that most people go through life and never realise or take advantage of this!

Firstly you must visualize what you want - you the dreams everyone has – unfortunately most people leave them as just that, dreams.  The second thing that you must do is see yourself in your dream environment, and see yourself getting there.  I can, I will and when I are the things you must say rather than the negative version I can’t, I won’t and if I!  Don’t worry if you fall into a more negative category – the good thing about attitude is that you can learn and train yourself to have a positive one given a bit of time and practice.

You’ve told yourself that it is going to happen and now must talk about it by doing this you are making yourself accountable and putting yourself under a little pressure to make it happen!  If you dream is to be on Millionaire Street and you are currently in debt – you must realise that this dream is not going to happen overnight in may take a few years – you don’t go around saying you are going to be a millionaire by next Thursday afternoon in three weeks time!  Don’t set unrealistic targets otherwise you may put yourself under undue stress and pressure to achieve, which can be detrimental to your cause.

Attitude isn’t everything – it is simply the first thing!  Remember it’s going to be action that actually gets you there and the attitude will determine what pace that will be.  You are the architect, the builder and the benefactor of all your life’s endeavours.  So when something doesn’t go your way the first place to look is inwards.  You must ask yourself what you could have done differently to have gotten a more favourable result, after this inward analysis is done then you look at some of the external issues that may have been amiss too.

Everyone has their fears; I don’t mean things like scared of the dark or spiders etc.  I am talking about fears to do with success, for example, it might be something that you haven’t learnt to do yet, and you fear that you may fail.  Remember that if you don’t try you fail anyway, and if you do fail sometimes then success is that much sweeter because you actually had to get over obstacles to get to the end result.

In summary we’ll use something interesting to illustrate a point.  There are 26 letters in the alphabet, A = 1 and Z = 26 working on that basis we assign a number to each letter of the word attitude and add them up:
A(1) + T(20) + T(20) + I(9) + T(20) + U(21) + D(4) + E(5) = 100 - 100% Attitude!
Having a positive or optimistic attitude helps you to achieve more for yourself than a negative or pessimistic one.  Visualise what you want, take action to make it happen, overcome any fears and keep plugging away, remember that tree that you see in your local park didn’t get that big overnight.  You can learn to train your mind, and over time you will learn how to develop and maintain a positive attitude.

By Audun Alfsen

7 Habits Of Spectacularly Unsuccessful People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yes. They see problems in EVERY opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes.

They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinct or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequences. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.


By Audun Alfsen

5 Quick Stress Busters.

Stress is fast becoming the biggest health problem in modern societies. Financial pressures, work pressures, family pressures – so much to do so little time to do it all! Here’s five quick ways to ease the pressure and relieve stress:

1. Make time to switch off from the daily trials and tribulations and relax for at least one hour every day. Just shut the world out and do something you enjoy. Reading, playing a musical instrument, taking a relaxing bath with music and candles (and maybe a glass of wine) are all great ways to unwind and will be extremely beneficial to your mental health.

2. If you’re dealing with a stressful situation and you have a lot on your plate then it can be very hard to find solutions. You’re caught up in the midst of a sandstorm and it is very difficult to see the way out. A good idea is to get some distance from your problems so you can gather your thoughts. If possible, take a day or even a weekend away from your usual surroundings, somewhere peaceful, and relax. Take a journal along so you can jot down any ideas. Distance away from problems can bring clarity and by relaxing, you’ll be calmer and solutions will come far easier than when you’re in the heat of battle.

3. One of the reasons people become stressed is because they are facing a change or even a number of changes to their lives. Change is a constant in life and refusing to accept change can cause stress levels to soar. When you are faced with a change, try to find the positives associated with change and embrace change instead of resisting it. Every change presents an opportunity for you to grow and there are always positives to find in even the most trying of circumstances. Change doesn’t bring stress, it’s all about how you react to change and if you react in a negative way, you will do yourself no end of harm.

4. There always seems to be an endless list of jobs that need doing: repairs around the home, paperwork, car maintenance, throwing out junk, cleaning the patio, weeding the garden – on and on and on! The more we put them off, the more the list grows and the more they contribute to your stress levels. So make a list of all of these chores and then schedule something I call a “Blitz Day”. On this day, you will rise early and spend the whole day sorting out each of these jobs. Take few breaks and only have a quick bite at lunchtime and just blitz through these irritating but necessary tasks. This will get rid of them, you’ll lower the stress they cause but more importantly, you’ll realize just how effective and industrious you can be when you apply the full force of your will to accomplish things.

5. Treat yourself to a pamper day. This is a day where you escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday living and enjoy some stress-free time. You’ll also feel great and give your well being a huge boost. On this day, have a light workout, a swim, a sauna, a Jacuzzi, a steam room. A massage would be nice and if you have access to one, a Turkish baths will give you an invigorating experience. Try to do this at least once a month, it is an excellent stress-buster.

The 5 Tips here will help you to significantly reduce your stress levels but they’ll only work for you if you put them into action. Give them a go – you’ll be amazed at the results!


By Audun Alfsen

Your Self Esteem

Self Esteem

When you're learning about something new, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of relevant information available. This informative article should help you focus on the central points.

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Truthfully, the only difference between you and Self esteem experts is time. If you'll invest a little more time in reading, you'll be that much nearer to expert status when it comes to Self esteem.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

There's a lot to understand about Self esteem. We were able to provide you with some of the facts above, but there is still plenty more to write about in subsequent articles.


By Audun Alfsen

Your Powerful Imagination

It is a common belief that the human brain is somehow empty at birth, and as the child begins to grow and receive stimulus, the neurons start making connections. Science is now discovering, however, that the reverse may be true. The infant is actually born with many more neuron connections than most adults have. It may be that learning does not happen by making neuron connections, but rather by “weeding out” those that are not used. If this is true, then we are all, literally, born with brilliant minds and we must “use it or lose it.”

In the first weeks of life, most babies will babble every possible sound imaginable. Yet, these children will later lose the ability to create sounds that are not a part of the language they have been trained to speak. Therefore, the child’s environment will play a tremendous role in brain development.

Scientists claim that in our society the average individual uses only 5 - 10% of the brain's potential. Imagine what your life could be like if you were able to stimulate your mind into activating even a small portion of that unused potential!

Begin by asking yourself:

1. If I could have anything at all, what would it be?
2. What would I need to do to attain it?
3. What stops me from doing those things now?
4. How can I overcome those challenges to attain the life I desire?

These questions move us into the realms of imagination and positive thinking -- the qualities that will allow you to awaken that other 90% and keep those neurons firing! Now you might say to yourself, “I already have a positive attitude,” or, perhaps “that positive stuff doesn't work -- all I need is willpower!”  But the following demonstration proves that the imagination is far more powerful than willpower can ever be.

Okay, ready for the test? Gather all of your strength and "willpower." Be sure NOT to do the following … here it comes … DON'T think of a red firetruck!!

What happened?

You automatically thought of a red firetruck, right? This is because when the “will” and the “imagination” are in conflict, the imagination always wins. Most people spend a great deal of time telling themselves what they DON’T want, instead of what they DO want. Even with every ounce of willpower they can muster, they somehow end up with more of the same old thing. That’s because the mind works in pictures, not words. Imagination is the secret ingredient of life. If people imagine themselves “rich,” regardless of the amount of money they have, chances are they will be healthy and strong and live an abundant life. If a rich man imagines himself poor or on the brink of losing his fortune, it is likely that trouble and sickness will plague him to the grave.

All that we are searching for in life is already present within ourselves. The sooner we come to believe in the power of our own imagination, the easier our lives will become. I challenge you to stretch your mind to the possibility of accomplishment beyond your present aspirations. What if, in an attempt to reach your goals, you awakened the powerful latent genius within? How would you feel if you found the cure for AIDS or cancer? Think of the people who would benefit from your achievement. The reality is that until everyone on the planet imagines a world of health and vitality for all, there will always be disease and woe. Take charge of your life now. Imagine your way to health and happiness and it will be so.


By Audun Alfsen